'It will all come out in the wash.'
I've had it said to me many times and it seemed particularly poignant that I think of it today. My mind is in a bit of a scramble, I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and it's bringing me down. I realise that this is meant to be a comfort.
But what if it doesn't come out? What if, like a massive coffee stain on your pristine white dress, it doesn't come out? If washing is a metaphor for the state of your soul then what does it mean when you can't shift the mark. Try all you may, you use everything possible, maybe some chemicals, maybe some elbow grease, maybe you even send it off to a professional, this thing won't budge. In a time where if something is ruined you throw it away and replace it, where does this leave the mind?
In times of adversity, that's when we really start to come into our own. You can only see this however with the benefit of hindsight. You ultimately have 2 choices; you either choose to let it overcome you, spoil you, or you can use it to spur you on. When I say the latter I don't mean forgetting about it completely, I mean not allowing it to consume you, analysing it, taking what you need and moving on. It can be the beginnings of something truly beautiful.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching recently-purchased countless books, I meditate and do yoga each day, trying to seek some kind of peace of mind. And I have found it, feint glimmers of light in all the darkness. With my head in a book on Buddhism, I found a beautiful symbol for this point in my life and that is the lotus flower. Used to signify enlightenment, the flower grows out of murky muddy waters and transforms into something of amazing beauty. So whenever I am feeling like my mind is in a particularly swamp-like state, I remember the lotus, and how at present I am in the underwater stages of growth. Every so often I see the sunlight reflecting on the surface, I grow towards it, I can feel it, I repeat to myself, 'it is only a matter of time'.
But here's the thing, our clothes and the marks we leave behind, are essentially life. And out of a load of shit and messiness there comes a great deal of splendor. So here's a suggestion; instead of giving up on something, stick with it if means something to you. Patch over it, stitch it back together because in the end it is this rich tapestry, this mish mash of sometimes wonderful and sometimes supremely painful things that we encounter along the way, that make up life. Those patches and stitches may be very different things for different people, they may be friends, family, travel, whatever, but lets enjoy the beauty of life, imperfections and all, safe in the knowledge that it will all come good in the end.
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| Lotus. Watercolour (K.Butler) |
